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13 December 2015 @ 10:07 am
An Honest Mistake  
Title: An Honest mistake
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt & Puck
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 3319
Summary: Kurt gets a surprise at a costume party

PROMPT: Puck being interested in Kurt while under the impression he's a chick


The music was loud in the background, but they were standing close enough that Kurt heard every word the taller man said –which was actually a little unfortunate. They had somehow gotten onto the topic of reckless behaviors, probably having something to do with the pirate costume the man was wearing. Kurt had quickly cut him off saying it was stupid to tempt death.

“Death is inevitable, baby,” he spoke into Kurt’s ear his smug grin evident in his inflection, as if he thought it were the most intellectual and seductive of lines. “It is the when and why of it that has everyone so wound up. People like to be in control. Every human alive is a control freak to some degree. We want to think we have some control over our lives, that if we make the right decisions and properly prepare for things, we’ll get the outcomes we’re looking for, but –”

“So, you’re saying we’re not afraid of dying, we’re afraid of not getting to choose when?” asked Kurt, cutting the other man off once again –perhaps he'd eventually get the idea that Kurt wasn't really that interested in hearing him speak. “I don’t know about that… I think I legitimately just don’t want to die.”

The other man laughed condescendingly before turning a smirky grin onto Kurt.

“That’s cute,” he said before taking a long drink from his imported beer. Kurt repressed the urge to roll his eyes. “Everything that exists wants to continue to do so,” said the man with a shrug. “That is kind of a given, don’t you think? The difference between us and some random –“

“Heeeeello,” cut in another voice.

Kurt turned away from the tall, athletic brunette who had caught his interest before he'd opened his mouth to find a slightly shorter, broader man around the same age sidle up to them. He was dressed in all black, a mask over his face that was obviously a black do rag pulled down too far with holes cut in for his eyes, a black Mexican-style hat sitting on his head, and a fake sword hanging from a sash around his waist. He was wearing white and black chuck taylor running shoes, though. They really threw off the entire half-assed look.

“What are we talking about?” asked the masked man.

He was so obviously eyeing up Kurt that Kurt wanted to laugh out loud, especially considering his conversation companion saw it too and was obviously unhappy about it.

“The inevitability of death,” answered the tall pirate darkly, not even trying to mask his annoyance.

Kurt lifted his drink to his lips to hide his smirk.

Even from behind his mask, the new guy looked handsome; his jaw line masculine, his lips delectably shaped, his build undoubtedly fit. But, there was something strangely familiar about him. Kurt wondered if perhaps they shared a class or two together.

“Sounds… uplifting.”

“Definitely,” deadpanned Kurt’s pirate –wait, no, he was definitely not Kurt’s pirate, not Kurt’s anything. Well, Kurt had kind of been hoping he would be Kurt’s hook-up that night, but the guy was starting to get too irritating for even that. It wasn’t as though personality was that high a priority for a one-night-stand, but there were only so many condescending, merekat-like smirks a guy could be on the receiving end of before he lost his 'will to bone'. And, obviously, Kurt had been spending too many evenings with the idiots in his study group if he was using phrases like 'will to bone' in his internal dialogue.

“Sooo…” continued the pirate after the heavy pause, drawing out the word to give him more time to display his annoyance, “can we help you with something?”

“Totally,” laughed the masked avenger, nodding. “I don’t wanna be too forward or someshit, but I just wanted to know if you two came together.”

“No,” said Kurt, shaking his head.

“Leaving together?”

“Working on it,” said the pirate from behind clenched teeth.

Kurt laughed in surprise –not that he was surprised the guy was trying to pick him up, that had been very obvious. They were both doing the dance, afterall. No, he was a little taken aback at how these two young men were being so forward about it. They were arguably the two hottest men at the party. Well, it was hard to know for sure, considering it was a costume party.

Kurt wasn’t sure why he even went to it in the first place. Of all places to try to pick someone up at, costume parties had the highest risk of awkward encounters. There could be unpleasant… surprises once the outfits and masks came off. Oh, hell, he knew why he had come; he loved dressing up in costume. He loved coming up with a character, loved dressing up as something entirely different than himself, and loved playing a role even if it was only in the smallest of ways. Not to mention he hadn’t been with anyone since breaking things off with Josh six months earlier.

The two men were staring each other down. Kurt wouldn’t have been surprised if they had bared their teeth and started growling. He shook his head at them and simply walked away. He would get another drink and find someone to dance with. There was no way he was going to play the damsel while the two fought for the honor of his company that night. Flattering as it was... just no.

Once he had a new drink in hand from the bartender at the small make-shift bar, he wandered through the crowd over to the area designated the dance floor for the night. He wasn’t sure who was throwing the party, but it was pretty swanky for a bunch of college kids. He shimmied his hips as he got closer to the group of dancers. The music was slightly louder there and the beat vibrated straight through him as if his heart were caught in the same rhythm as the song’s bass.

Once Kurt finished his drink, he set it down on the nearest ledge and really got into the dancing. He was sweating and feeling alive and horny by the time the masked man in all black found him again.

“Zorro?” guessed Kurt, slightly out of breath and his voice somehow sounding a little higher than usual.

“Fuck, yeah,” answered the man with a grin. He grabbed his fake sword from his sash and made a cutting movement in the air that was probably supposed to be a Z. “You Alice in Wonderland?”

“The one and only,” confirmed Kurt with a sly smile and a silly curtsy.

“Huh,” answered Zorro, a rueful smile on his lips.

“What?”

“I had you pegged for the type to make some sort of Wonderland reference or pun or something.”

“Eh,” said Kurt, scrunching his nose and shrugging. “They’re getting old.”

“Fair enough,” said Zorro before grinning again. “Care to dance, Miss Alice?”

Kurt laughed at that.

“Actually,” he said, giving Zorro a small but devious grin, “I’ve had enough dancing for one night. Plus, I think I may have found what I came for…”

“Oh, fuck yeah,” groaned out Zorro while doing a mini fist pump that he probably thought was subtle.

Kurt turned to lead him toward the apartment’s exit, waiting until his back was turned to roll his eyes. It was a good thing the guy was hot and Kurt was in dire need of a good romp because that had been disturbingly similar behavior to that of his stepbrother.

Kurt almost laughed out loud when they passed by the cocky pirate who did a double take when he realized they were leaving together. Not able to help himself, Kurt threw a cocky wink the man’s way that was very reminiscent, he hoped, of a similar expression the guy had given him earlier.

They made it to Kurt’s apartment without even giving each other their names. Kurt, so unlike the person he thought he was back at eighteen, had been quick to initiate heavy petting, ass-grabbing and fervent kissing once they had settled in the back seat of a cab. They had practically run up the stairs to Kurt’s dorm on the second floor. Kurt fumbled with his keys in his hurry to get the door open, praying to high heaven his roommate wasn’t there.

When he flung the door open, the masked man was invading his space, pushing him into the room and shutting the door behind them. Kurt grabbed onto the man’s sash, pulling it undone so it and the plastic sword fell to the floor while they continued to mash their mouths together as if trying to devour the other. Kurt was so ready; it had been far too long since he simply let go. He didn’t care what the guy looked like under his pathetic Zorro costume at that moment, he just needed to fuck.

Zorro groaned, pressing his hips into the blue billowing skirt of Kurt’s dress. Even through layers of tulle and cotton, Kurt could feel the hard press of the man’s dick already so hard. Kurt backed across the room pulling the man in black with him before purposely falling to his bed.

“Fuck,” groaned Zorro, his voice guttural, “you don’t waste time.”

“Not tonight,” breathed Kurt in agreement as he began to fuss with the blue ribbons holding his dress together in a corset fashion.

Zorro kneeled on the bed, pulling his black shirt over his head and throwing it to the floor. Kurt took a moment to admire the very masculine, nicely muscled chest now on display. The guy was a little burlier than Kurt usually went for, but the rounded pectorals dusted with dark hair only served to make Kurt salivate with want. Zorro leaned in to kiss him and Kurt returned it enthusiastically while he went back to work fervently undoing the dress he had altered to make himself a slightly more slutty, more modern version of Alice. Zorro kissed across his jaw and down his throat, his lips feeling like heaven on Kurt’s sensitive, closely shaven skin.

“Unnggg,” breathed out Kurt, reaching down to hike up his dress so that he could pull it over his head.

Zorro pulled back to give him room to do so but froze when he looked down at Kurt’s bare thighs.

“I don’t normally shave,” explained Kurt, thinking the guy had been taken aback by the smooth legs, “I just figured it made more sense with the outfit.”

“You’re a dude?”

“FUCKING HELL, ARE YOU SERIOUS?” shrieked Kurt, jumping out from under the man, an instantaneous cold sweat and stomach lurch of dread taking over his arousal. “GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!”

He gestured at his door frantically, panicking. The guy was straight. The guy was straight and thought he was a chick. Dressing up as Alice had been suuuuch a mistake. Did he really look that convincing as a girl? Was this guy a homophobe? What would this guy do?

Zorro turned, still kneeling on Kurt’s bed, and gave Kurt the strangest look that Kurt would never have been able to decipher, even if he hadn't been busy panicking.

“Kurt?” he asked.

Kurt’s mouth dropped open in surprise; he lowered his hand where he had been pointing at his door. Before he could ask who the guy was, Zorro untied his do-rag mask to reveal his identity. Relief and confusion spread through Kurt at what he saw.

“Oh my go… NOAH?”

“Fuck, Kurt,” laughed Puck, “you make a really hot chick.”

“I…”

Kurt didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t know what to say,” he rasped.

Puck laughed, rubbing a hand across his face and then over his head.

“Me neither,” said Puck. “This like almost never happens.”

Almost never?” questioned Kurt, the beginning of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Fucking costume parties should be outlawed,” grumbled Puck, a look on his face like he was remembering a similar outcome from his past.

“I’m not even going to ask,” said Kurt before walking back over to his bed and sitting down next to Puck. “I can’t believe this.”

“What are the odds?”

“I’m glad it was you and not some asshole who would have some sort of mental freak-out, identity crisis when they realized there was a dick under this skirt and take it out on me.”

Puck shuddered beside him and Kurt had to smile.

“Why aren’t you freaking out?” asked Kurt.

“Truthfully, I’m more just sad we stopped,” said Puck. “That was some primo making out.”

Kurt snorted. He sat on the edge of his bed staring across the room at his roommate’s unmade bed, chewing his bottom lip anxiously. He should probably be speaking, but the severe mental whiplash of the evening had him still reeling.

“Can you… do you mind receiving?” asked Puck after a few long moments of silence.

“Excuse me?” stammered Kurt, jerking his head to look at Puck.

“Well, I just mean, I think I could be down with this, but I just don’t think I’m ready to go that gay on my end, you know? At least not tonight.”

“I’m sorry…what?”

“I’m not saying I would never… I’m just saying I’d rather be the one—“

“You mean you want to… no, just, no. NOAH!”

“What?” asked Puck. “We’re here already. I kind of scared off your other prospect anyway, and you were the first tail I went after so I don’t have anyone else lined up…”

“Absolutely not,” said Kurt, shaking his head emphatically. “You cannot be serious.”

“Why the hell not?” asked Puck, starting to almost look offended. “I was hot enough ten minutes ago.”

“You were just some random guy ten minutes ago,” exhaled Kurt in exasperation. “Now you’re Noah Puckerman, the guy I went to high school with! Was in glee club with! My step-brother’s best friend! My former BULLY!”

Kurt let his mouth snap shut at the last statement suddenly feeling guilty for bringing that last bit up when he'd told a distraught Puck many times in the past that he'd forgiven him.

“You don’t find me attractive at all?” ask Puck, his bottom lip sticking out in what Kurt thought looked strangely similar to a pout.

“Pfft, you… I…” Kurt laughed feeling suddenly flustered. “I’ve never argued against your attractiv—“

“You think I’m hot!” crowed Puck, grinning triumphantly.

“Obviously,” muttered Kurt while gesturing to them and their current situation.

“Yeah, but even back in high school, you thought I was hot!”

“Yes,” said Kurt with a long-suffering sigh, “Of course I did. I have eyes, you know.”

“So, how come you went after Homophobe Hudson and not me, then?” asked Puck, suddenly, his eyebrows drawing together.

“I didn’t know that of the two of you, he was the one more homophobic at the time,” answered Kurt, “especially considering you were the one throwing me in dumpsters!”

Oops, there it came out again. Kurt winced.

“He was there, too!” exclaimed Puck.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t have very good taste in men as a sixteen year old,” said Kurt with a shrug.

“You taste seems to have improved,” said Puck while waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Kurt couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, uh-huh,” he said sarcastically.

“You sure you don’t wanna keep going?” asked Puck, then. “I mean, we’re both gonna be hard up otherwise.”

“I’m sure we’ll survive.”

Puck sighed.

“Wanna just make-out a little while we jerk off?” he tried again.

“How drunk are you?” asked Kurt, lifting an eyebrow judgmentally.

“I’m not drunk at all,” said Puck. “I only had one beer tonight. When I’m looking to take somebody home, or go home with somebody, I stay sober. It’s safer that way.”

“Safer?” asked Kurt in surprise.

“Last time I was really drunk, this chick fucked me and then stole a bunch of stuff from my place when I passed out after,” said Puck. “Bitch.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” answered Puck, nodding before leaning into Kurt’s space. “So…”

“Noah!” exclaimed Kurt, pushing him away. “This is way too weird considering our history and I’m not going to be your evening’s consolation prize, either… Also, what are you even doing in New York?”

“College,” answered Puck, simply.

“Wha…really?”

“Yeah, pretty awesome, huh?” he answered, grinning. “I can go as a ‘mature’ student now that I’m twenty one and my highschool grades don’t matter.”

“That’s great,” answered Kurt, smiling fondly. “I’m happy for you, Noah. So, what are you taking?”

“Kurt,” said Puck, his face turning almost solemn, “as much as I wanna catch up with you, I don’t really wanna do it on your bed half-naked while sporting a chubby… unless this is some kind of lead up?”

“No, of course… that… yeah,” Kurt laughed out, standing up and grabbing Puck’s black costume shirt from the floor. “Oh… wow… you really are still hard,” said Kurt when Puck shifted to pull up his pants that were hanging very low on his hips and hopeless at hiding the considerable shape of his dick.

“Mostly,” admitted Puck nonchalantly, “that was some epic grinding for a bit there. I guess I shoulda known it was cuz a second dick was involved.”

Kurt let out a strangled, high-pitched laugh at that.

“Alright, well, let me get your number, dude,” said Puck as he pulled his shirt over his head and leaned down to grab his sash so he could hitch up his pants. “We can hang out later; catch up and shit. You know, at a more… appropriate time and place. We can get coffee -that’s what New Yorkers do, right?”

“Yeah, that sounds… good,” replied Kurt, feeling strangely distracted by the shape of Puck’s ass in his thin, black pants now that he knew what it felt like under his hands.

Puck straightened and caught Kurt looking.

“Sure you don’t want to…”

“Oh… my… g… I’M POSITIVE!”

“You’re missing out, man,” said Puck with another shrug.

“I spent high school hearing all about it,” said Kurt with a disgusted frown.

“I’m much better, now,” said Puck conversationally while he grabbed Kurt’s phone to enter his number.

“Good to know.”

“Okay,” said Puck once he was finished entering his number into Kurt’s cell. He tossed it to him and Kurt scrambled to catch it. “Peace… shalom… later!”

“Bye,” answered Kurt weakly as he watched Puck let himself out of his dorm.

Kurt sat there for some time just staring at his door once it had closed behind Puck. He took a few deep breaths before looking down at the poofy fabric pooling around his waist and the tall, white stockings at his knees. He felt suddenly incredibly ridiculous and let out a long groan before throwing himself back down on his bed and screaming into his pillow.

After a few moments of just reeling over the insanity of what just happened, he sat back up, grimaced at the smudge of make-up he had left on his pillow, and then grabbed his cell. He pulled up an often-called number from his contacts list and put the phone to his ear. After a few rings, the phone was picked up on the other end.

“Rachel,” exclaimed Kurt before she could even say ‘hello’, “you are never going to believe who I ended up bringing home tonight!”