Sam (dareu2beme) wrote,


Title: Infomercials
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt & Puck
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2340
Summary: Puck stays over at the Hudmels. (It kind of veered off onto its own path from the prompt)

PROMPT: puckurt, puck is sleeping over with Finn and kurt sleepwalks/has a nightmare and puck helps him :3

Puck stared up at the ceiling in the darkness. The red light of the video game console was the only thing casting any light in the room. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at the loud snorting snores coming from the bed next to him. The hell was he thinking deciding to spend the night? He should have just gone home. Who cares if it was three a.m. when they had finished the last movie? He’d been friends with Finn long enough to know better than to spend the night in his room. The guy had the freaking sinuses of a combat aircraft –yeah, that didn’t make sense, but give him a break; it was freaking four a.m. and he hadn’t gotten a damn blink of sleep because of Finn and his stupid snoring. It sounded like all the air in the entire room was being vacuumed into Finn’s nasal cavity with his every inhale.

How did that not hurt?

Yeah, he really should have just walked home at stupid-o’clock instead of agreeing to bed down on the freaking floor of Finn’s bedroom. He felt all of twelve having some sort of adolescent sleep-over. Especially considering Mrs. Hudson-Hummel had come in with Finn’s old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sheets and pillow for Puck and wished the boys ‘good night’. Puck grumbled to himself --his old Star Wars sheets were way cooler. He moved around a bit trying to get more comfortable and then closed his eyes and tried to think of hot chicks. It didn’t help. Finn’s snoring only seemed to increase in volume and length.

“Fuck this shit,” Puck muttered out loud.

Fed up, he rolled out of his green TMNT patterned cocoon, viciously plucked up the pillow and the old cowboy quilt, and stalked out of the room. The hall was dark and unfamiliar, especially considering it hadn’t ben that long ago that Finn and his mom had moved there with Kurt and his dad. Puck walked carefully, feeling for the wall with an extended elbow since his hands were full of bedding. He finally found the staircase and gingerly stepped down, not wanting to make any noise and wake anyone.

When he made it to the main floor, the streetlight outside gave enough light through the front windows that he could walk with a little more confidence. He finally made it to the living room couch, and without stubbing any toes --a pretty great accomplishment. Yes, an accomplishment worth celebrating with sleep. He dropped the pillow on the arm of the couch before plopping down on the cushions himself. He pulled the blanket over and was glad Finn had been freakishly tall even as a little kid or the cowboy quilt his gramma had made him so many years ago might not have been long enough for Puck now. Small victories.

Puck let out a long yawn before smacking his lips together in a way his little sister often told him was obnoxious, before snuggling into the pillow that smelled a tad bit stale from disuse. He was just beginning to drift to sleep when he heard a creak on the stairs. His eyes shot open in surprise at being awoken before fully asleep. He grumbled to himself that it was probably Finn coming to look for him so he could snore at him a bit longer.

Maybe if he pretended to be asleep the person would leave him alone. Puck closed his eyes and stayed still –very still. He tried to keep his breathing quiet and slow like he was still asleep. Soft sock-feet footsteps shuffled sleepily into the room and then the T.V. was flicked on and quickly turned down to a very low volume. Puck wanted to groan his frustration, but kept quiet. That is… until someone tried to sit on his thighs. Puck flailed, and the person let out a ridiculous squawk of surprise before jumping to their feet.

“OH MY G… PUCK!?” exclaimed Kurt, his voice much more shrill than usual in his surprise.

“The hell you doing watching TV at freaking five in the morning?” asked Puck, his heart racing but amusement quickly replacing his annoyance.

He couldn’t help but grin at how dramatically Kurt was clutching at his chest --like some Broadway chick or whatever.

“What are you doing on my couch at five in the morning?” countered Kurt, dropping his hand when he noticed Puck was grinning at its placement. “Shut up, you scared me.”

Puck raised his hands in surrender, but still not able to put away the mocking grin on his face. Kurt was such a little diva. Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Puck, a facial expression familiar enough that Puck could easily remember it in the dim lighting.

“Finn’s snoring was keeping me awake,” Puck explained, finally, with a quick shrug.

“Yeah,” said Kurt, his stance losing some of its rigidity. “He’s loud, isn’t he? I don’t think I slept at all the entire first week they moved in.”

Puck snorted in amusement.

“Well,” said Kurt after a few beats of silence, “I guess I should let you sleep.”

He grabbed the remote control off the coffee table most likely to turn off the TV, but Puck sat up quickly and cleared his throat.

“You not gonna tell me what show you were planning on watching so early on a Saturday?” asked Puck, curious and kind of hoping to keep Kurt’s company since he was wide awake again anyway. “It was porn, wasn’t it?”

“What!” stammered Kurt. “N-no!”

Puck grinned broadly.

“Oh, fuck,” he laughed, delighted. “I totally caught you about to sit down to watch some nasty, dirty, gay porn. I bet you like the super naughty stuff; BDSM crap and fisting… lots of fisting.”

Kurt turned to him, then, an eyebrow raised and his face stoic.

“You seem well-acquainted with male on male pornography,” he said accusingly.

“WHUUUHH… noo… fuck no… I just…” –Kurt burst into muffled laughter—“oh fuck you, Kurt!”

“Please, no,” chuckled Kurt. “I think you’re much too kinky for me. Thanks anyway, though.”

Puck’s face turned into a devious grin and he sat up straighter on the couch before leaning in.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “You think I’d be too much for you, Sweetie?”

“Stop it, that’s weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“You coming on to me,” said Kurt, shaking his head and doing a dramatic mock cringe before sitting down on the coffee table to face Puck. “It would be weird enough to tell fifteen-year-old-me that in three years I would be living with Finn as his brother and chatting with Puck-the-Bully in my living room at five in the morning in our pajamas… let’s not add flirting to the list.”

“That wasn’t flirting,” replied Puck. “If I wanted to flirt with you, you’d be flirted with real good. But I… don’t flirt.”


“I don’t need to,” explained Puck with a shrug. “I just gotta do this…” he lifted one eyebrow, his trademark look, and gave Kurt his sexiest grin he could muster.

Kurt just rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know how you manage to get anyone,” he said from behind a sigh.

“Pfft,” said Puck. “I’d like to see you do better, Mr. Virgin.”

Kurt looked almost offended. Puck didn’t feel bad though.

“I’ll have you know that I’m not…”

“Okay, Cupcake,” laughed Puck. “Show me what you’ve got.”

“I… what?”

“You said you had a better way of picking people up, so, let’s… see… it,” said Puck, gesturing with his hand for Kurt to lay it on him.

Kurt looked flustered for a moment.

“No,” he finally stammered, shaking his head. “That’s not fair.”


“Because you’re straight,” explained Kurt, looking annoyed for having to even say it.

“Who ever told you I was straight?” asked Puck.

Kurt simply lifted an eyebrow.

“Yeah, so I sleep with girls… don’t mean I’m completely straight,” explained Puck before grinning deviously. “I’m a lot more… twisted than you think.”

“Twisted?” asked Kurt with a snort.

“Yeah, whatever,” said Puck, getting impatient and maybe feeling a small twinge of panic at having given out such sensitive information –even if it was to Kurt. “So, you gonna come on to me or what?”

“Ooohh, you sweet talker,” mocked Kurt, but he sat up a little straighter.

Kurt looked like he was trying to ready himself for some sort of performance. Puck grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, this was gonna to be good. Kurt closed his eyes, took in a deep breath, cleared his throat, and then opened them again, focus entirely on Puck.

“Hey, there,” he started in a lower tone that was probably meant to be seductive.

Puck tried to hold it in, but he couldn’t help but snort and then chuckle. Kurt’s face fell into an annoyed frown for a few seconds before he let out a soft laugh. They laughed together for a few minutes, covering their mouths to try to keep quiet.

“That was so bad,” Puck finally said.

“Well, you put me on the spot!” defended Kurt, still laughing at himself.

“Yeah, but… that was really, really bad!”

“Oh, shut up,” said Kurt, leaning forward to push on Puck’s shoulder. “At least I didn’t raise my eyebrow and give you the smarmiest of smarmy grins. You are such a creep.”

“Works on the ladies,” replied Puck, shrugging.

“It only works because you’re hot,” said Kurt.

Puck and Kurt both froze when what he had said sunk in. Kurt suddenly looked horrified and Puck, well, Puck couldn’t help the Grinch-like grin he could feel stretching slowly across his face.

“I knew it!” he whisper-exclaimed, “I knew you thought I was hot! Fucking rights!”

“Oh, shut up,” said Kurt, his blush so bright that Puck could see it in the blue light from the T.V.

Oh yeah, the T.V.

“So, were you really coming down here to watch porn?” asked Puck.

“No,” laughed Kurt, shaking his head. “I just… I… nevermind.”

“No way,” said Puck, interest piqued. He leaned forward on the couch, getting dangerously close to being in Kurt’s personal space. “You definitely have to tell me, now.”

Kurt let out a long sigh.

“Fine,” he said, “I have these nightmares some times… mostly when I’m really stressed. It is always the same… and I just… can’t go back to sleep afterward because it is too awful.”

“What are they about?” asked Puck gently.

“My mom,” Kurt whispered, his voice slightly shaky, “when she was sick and had to be taken to the hospital. I’m sitting in the hallway waiting to see her and nurses and doctors are running back and forth past me. No one will tell me what’s going on and they all just give me this sad look… I just… yeah, never mind. Sorry.”

“Sometimes,” said Puck. “When I was a bit younger, I would have this dream about mom and my sister leaving me just like dad had. I would wake up one morning and they would just be gone. Everything would be gone. All the pictures on the wall, all the food in the fridge, everything… just… gone.”

Kurt looked up from where he had been staring down at his hands still holding the remote control for the T.V.

“That sucks, Noah,” he whispered.

“Yeah,” said Puck, shrugging. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

“I’m sorry about your dad,” countered Kurt, giving him a soft smile.

They stared at each other in the dim, blue light for a few moments; sharing a little solidarity, before Puck started to feel a little too open and had to end it. He cleared his throat and turned his head to nod at the T.V.

“So, anything good to watch at… six in the morning?”

“Infomercials,” said Kurt, instantly. “They are the absolute best! The actors showing us how hard life is, are hilarious!”

Puck laughed softly.

“Alright, let’s watch some infomercials,” he said, moving on the couch to give Kurt room before patting the space next to him in invitation.

Kurt looked at his hand where he was patting the couch cushion like it was the oddest thing he had ever seen. Puck rolled his eyes.

“C’mon,” he said.

Kurt gave him a suspicious look, but moved to sit down next to him on the couch. Puck offered him part of the cowboy quilt and they settled in to learn how to better their lives with Hot Booties and INSTABulbs. It was nice sitting with Kurt; he smelled good and didn’t hog the covers. Puck could get used to it reaaal quick if he wasn’t careful. It was actually kind of cool that Kurt and Finn lived together, it meant Puck could see both of them when he came over. And, like,over the past year or two, Kurt had started to grow on Puck. Yeah, he was a pretty okay guy. Damn, but Puck was so tired. His eyelids felt so heavy. He was only blinking, but it seemed like he might be losing time between each blink...

“The hell, man?” exclaimed Finn, causing Puck’s eyes to shoot open.

Puck had to squint in the bright sunlight of the day. He rubbed a hand over his face and groaned in agitation at having been awoken.

“No, seriously, what… the… hell?”

“What are you in hysterics over, now, Hudson?” grumbled out Puck before he realized he was holding another person.

His eyes shot open again and he was greeted with the sight of brown hair atop the head of a sleeping Kurt Hummel whose face was pressed against his chest, a soft smile on his pink lips. Well, Damn.

Originally posted here
Tags: glee, kurt hummel, noah puckerman, puckurt, purt
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